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The foundation for healing
A personal relationship with Jesus Christ

What is at the center of my life?

You tend to “orbit” around certain people, things, or events in your life. They are the relationships, possessions, and circumstances you value most. They give meaning to life and bring joy to you.

Here are some examples:

  • Job
  • Children
  • Husband or wife
  • Financial resources
  • Favorite activities
  • Friends
  • Health
  • Houses, cars, and possessions

Take a minute and list the people or things that your life revolves around. It may be one thing or a combination of items.

How solid is my center?

In our solar system, planets have a predictable orbit because the sun is a stable gravitational “center.” Imagine what would happen to those planets if the sun suddenly disappeared. Now look at your list comprising the things at the center of your life. Which are permanent (cannot disappear or be lost)?

Most things in your life can disappear. A husband or wife can leave the marriage or die. Your financial condition can suddenly change. Possessions break, rust, and wear out. Your health can deteriorate. When these things happen, you lose what you had been relying on for your stability. As a result, your “orbit” will destabilize, sending your life into an emotional tumble.

In the end, only one thing is permanent—a relationship with God. If you have one, it cannot be taken away. Because this relationship with God is so critical to your stability, it’s important to know for sure that you have the kind of relationship with Him that will ensure He is permanently in the center of your life.

Achieving permanent stability

How can God become the center of your life? The first step is to remove a major barrier between yourself and Him.

The Bible says that our sins separate us from having a relationship with God. When we put anything other than God at the center of our lives, this is sin. Picture this: You invite a friend over to talk about your problems. Your friend arrives, turns on the TV, and barely nods at you. Your friend then surfs the net for a while and motions “not yet” when you ask for a minute of time. After that, your friend prepares one sandwich and munches on it while catching up on phone calls. While it’s certainly not wrong for your friend to watch TV, use the phone and internet, and eat, it’s hurtful that your friend centered on everything but you. How much more do you think God disapproves of us when we prioritize and value the things He’s created for us to enjoy more than we value Him?

In addition to possessions, time, and activities, we might put money, worries about the future, and even our family first in our lives before God. Other sins are more easily recognizable: bitterness, gossip, fits of rage, lies, judging others, not taking responsibility for our wrongs, desiring revenge, and sexual immorality.

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” The book of Romans also says that the result of sin is death (separation from God). “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

Your sin keeps you from God. Many people try to “earn” a relationship with Him by “being a good person” and “doing good things.” But notice in the previous verse (Romans 6:23) that eternal life is a gift. It cannot be earned. You must receive it from the Giver.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8–9)

Breaking through the barrier

If you can’t overcome your sin and earn a relationship with God, how can He become the center of your life? The Bible says that Jesus Christ removed the barrier between God and you by dying in your place. He paid the price for your disobedience. Romans 5:8 puts it this way: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s also important to realize that Jesus Christ is the only way to a relationship with God. John 14:6 reads, “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’”

Making it real in my life

Maybe right now you ache for the stability, security, and wholeness that come from having God at the center of your life. Once He’s there, you can access His power to help you heal from your separation or divorce. He can help stabilize your life’s orbit.

The first step is to believe that Jesus is God’s only Son and that He died to pay the price for your sins (the things you have done wrong). “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21) After believing this, you need to turn control of your life over to Jesus. In effect, He becomes the center of your life.

How can God become the center of my life?

The Bible says that each person must surrender to Jesus as personal Lord and Savior through faith. To do this, you must first realize that you are a sinner and repent of (turn away from) your sin. The Bible says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)

Receiving Jesus through faith means trusting Him alone as the payment for your sin and surrendering your life to Him. “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” (Romans 10:9–10)

Taking the step

If you would like to surrender your life to Jesus Christ, here is a prayer you can pray. Why not do it right now?

Dear God, I know I have done things that are wrong. Please forgive me for these sins. I turn control of my life over to Jesus, Your Son. I want Him to be my Savior and Lord. As my Savior, I rely on Him to save me from the effect of my sins through His death on the cross. As my Lord, I put Jesus at the center of my life and give Him control of it. Thank you for forgiving my sin and giving me the gift of eternal life with You. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

If that prayer expresses the desire of your heart, your relationship with God through Jesus Christ can never be taken from you:

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” (John 10:27–29)

8 things that are really different now

If you invited Christ into your life, many things have changed. Look at what has happened.

1. Christ is in your life:

“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” (1 John 5:11–13)

2. Christ’s power is in your life:

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

3. Your sins were forgiven:

“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)

4. You became a permanent part of God’s kingdom:

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.” (Hebrews 12:28)

5. You received the gift of eternal life:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

6. You can find abundant life now:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

7. You can find God’s peace:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6–7)

8. God’s spirit lives in you:

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:16–17)

What’s next?

Turning control of your life over to Jesus is only the first step in an exciting relationship with God. You’ll want to get to know Him better and learn His plan for your life.

If you have surrendered your life to Jesus, let your DivorceCare leader know. He or she can connect you with a pastor, counselor, or a mature Christian friend to help you grow.

It’s also important for you to spend time with people who can help you know Jesus in an even deeper and more intimate way. The best way to do this is to become part of a church that will teach you and guide you in a growing relationship with Jesus.

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